To get back into your masculine power it is very important that you can brake the chains of the porn-program. This is a program that is keeping men small. It is so easy now and its getting our young men and boys at a very early age. Porn is free, there is no emotional, physical or spiritual investment needed for you to experience what ever sexual fantasies you might have or you might be led into traumatic experiences with porn that you really wish you were left without.
This is too easy, and it’s not your fault.
It’s time for the older men and parents to guide the young ones. Watching porn is keeping you away from actually learning the social skills necessary to be with a woman, and if anything it is making it worse. We as men need to learn to burn and sit with these feelings. If we can’t get a woman, reflect on why that is and change it. This is the work, and porn is keeping you away from taking the necessary actions towards your own growth into manhood. It is also creating a huge wave of men struggling with either pre-ejaculation or erectile dis-function. This may be because with porn we are training ourselves to ejaculate really quick, for young boys in the bedroom often with the fear of being caught out, which creates a pattern of rushing to orgasm.
Erectile dis-function might happen if you waste your precious energy and seed multiple times a day. This life force is creative force, and we waste it by watching porn. Filling our minds with programs from other peoples fantasies, trauma and pain.
It will take time to brake this program. I have been recovering for 10 years, and still I feel the urge at times, but it is time now for me to offer my insights and be of service to other men.
1. Foundation
Where is this pattern coming from? When was the first time you watched porn? How do you usually feel before, during and after you watch porn? How does it effect your life?
Take your time to really reflect on your history with porn. See the patterns that plays out and how it might effect you.. You will need to reflect on this many times, and every time you revisit the trauma that led your to this addiction you will learn something new. Go there and feel it.
2. The Work
I would be lying if I said this is easy. It’s not, it takes a huge amount of strength to brake this program. This program is everywhere: in news, movies, social media, advertisements, unconscious conversations, and of course on so many porn websites.
I’ve introduced a practice of non-ejaculation and on average I ejaculate once or twice a month. Currently I’m not watching any news, social media, movies or porn, and I must say I’m feeling better then I ever have. What all these channels are offering is a moment of dopamine edge. This edge is so addictive, and can so easily pull us in all the way. Many recovery coaches recommend staying away from this edge as much as you can.
All this space without input is giving me the energy to create output.
It’s also important to find tools to replace this addictive pattern. What are 20 healthy things you could do instead? The most important thing is to not do this alone. Get a buddy, a support group or someone to reach out too.
3. Failure & Recommitment
You most probably will fail, many times, but the most important thing is to not give up, keep going, get back on the horse. Every time you fail, there is a lesson. Take the lesson and grow. If you can learn 1% from every time you fail, relapse or have a slip that is still growth. Remember your commitment and why you are doing this.
Eventually you will get to place where your life is more at peace. Imagine a place without shame, guilt, anxiety or depression. This is within your reach. You may even feel blissfully good just being with your own sexual energy. Using this energy to create your dreams, your vision and live your purpose as a man.
