Reconnecting to My Heart: A Journey from Overwhelm to Sovereignty

Life often places immense pressure on us to figure everything out—our relationships, finances, future, and even our sense of self. In this vulnerable and powerful testimonial, you’ll read about how the journey from overwhelm to sovereignty unfolded through spiritual practices and intentional living. This is a story of self-reclamation, of choosing to return to the heart and reconnect with what truly matters.

Testomonial:

From the final days of the divorce to the (first weeks of july) i began putting immense pressure on myself to sort out elements of life like where i will live, what i will do,  how i can put my creative self into the world, how to make a long distance relationship work, how to make a marriage work, how to reconcile the immense power gap in the certainties of financial futures between myself and my partner, how to reconcile the disparity of financial certainty OF OUR CHILDREN in the context of my present and my future, how to come to terms with age differences, how to parent, how to hold space for myself, how to make my life work.  

In the context of this immense tsunami of pressure, I formed a container around myself in the format of a supported journey focussed on ‘a beginning’ and magical enchanted reason.  My work with the intentions (below) felt initially inspired but immediately inaccessible from a heart perspective and i found myself effectively locked in my head. The degree to which can only be expressed by saying it felt like I was trying to play an out of tune instrument – I would go through the motions but found it very difficult to meaningfully access my heart.

I am in a new realm of coherence with divine enchanted reason.

I am willingly intentional, faithfully optimistic on the path of a beginner.

I am safe and relaxed across space and time.

I surrender to guidance and trust in the wisdom of my star family.

I am radiant radical wealth.

I am limitless and fearless, courageous of heart always protected by guardians.

Working with these intentions has been quite frustrating from the ‘disconnected’ place.  I observe myself travelling all the time, I observe the effect of tiny erosions of my life force from this, I observe the creep of shadow in the hollows of exhaustion.  I observe my own confusion and observe the pressure I have put on myself but felt incredibly locked out of heart and outside of my resource to make my way back home, to my heart.

My intention with my journey was to go home, and the experience of being only with myself – and the process of separating what is my own voice and what ts the voice of others – was HUMBLING and just what I needed.

It was so clear that I have a choice to remain in struggle with these self-inflicted pressures and self-imposed lies in the degree to which I establish my own truths and boundaries from the heart.  On a spiritual level, I understand I need some time to work these truths and boundaries out as I progress on the path of a beginner.  On a spiritual level I understand that the self inflicted pressures choke out magic and growth.

The path is TO GO TO MY HEART.  TO GO TO MY BODY.  TO SURRENDER.

‘Sometimes when you think you are done, you are just at the edge of a beginning’ – Natalie Goldberg

I was called to form council, I was called to protect my sacred spaces both spiritually and physically, I was called to view the embodied frustrations s an opportunity to SHED that suit of constraint and embrace the path of a beginner with wonder curiosity hope and trust.

The shadow of the journey was the need to have a plan is a paralysis of my heart space, the gift is the TRUST that the weather will pass.

Questions are the divining rod –
Where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say?
Embody these questions with curiosity of the heart.

The journey was a very effective and swift way to reconnect spiritually, in that it showed me the foil of this reality where I exist out of connection.  And embedded in this reconnection was ultimately a serene sovereignty about my choices in my spiritual life and the freeing power of owning my truth.

Over the past week, I have answered the call to practice a consciously heart led ceremonial practice with a real focus on reconnecting to nature.  

I was called to action within the space of my home, to clear the space entirely and call in protection within the space.  It felt like crawling home, the creation of a peaceful safe space.

I was called to be very deliberate and explicit about creating a protected family space – on the door is now a prayer, and in the entry hall is now a protective amulet.

I was called to create a beautiful space for spiritual practice.  

One week into my integration I pulled a card that I must share:

Sovereign Queen Maeve

At the portal between every day living and the rapture of unchecked aliveness stands Sovereign Queen Maeve.  She is an initiatrix taking us beyond constraints….into bliss, sacred passion, grit, and astuteness needed to cultivate and protect the light.

Protecting your territory from a spiritual perspective is unlike the grasping and self serving of the ego that wishes to obtain whatever it can for its own benefit.  

Rapture is the pathway out of control and into the sacred and consciously chosen abandonment into something greater than self.  

“Value what is sacred to you by protecting it from interference, even that which may be well intentioned.”